January 17, 2002
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What Your Baby Would Tell You
(If He Could Talk)
On Lifes’s Pleasures:
I have my blankie, you have your caffeine. Enough said.
Don’t be jealous, but I think I’m in love with the ceiling fan.
I know where the remote control is, but it’ll cost you.
Actually, I don’t mind sitting in a bathtub that I’ve peed in.
On Life’s Pain:
bang a screwdriver slowly and steadily into your gums – that’s what teething feels like.
Two words I’d rather not hear from you: Rectal thermometer.
On the Ignorance of Parents:
There’s no point in teaching me to say “mama” or “dada”. My first word is going to be “hat.”
I’ve told you five times what a cow says. If you can’t remember, I’m not telling you again!
There is no question that I can cry longer than you can listen.
I’m not just wildly throwing my food. I’m exploring the laws of gravity, estimating mass, and testing wind velocity.
If you wanted a good sleeper, you should have gotten a cat.
On Life’s Great Questions:
Who the heck is that baby in the mirror you keep asking me about?
If my bottom is so darn cute, why is someone always trying to cover it up?
Who are you two to tell me how important it is to sleep alone?
A Final Thought:
What you secretly believe is true: I am much smarter than other babies.
Parenting – February 2002
Comments (2)
Cute!
Hehehe… you’ve got it spot on!! I see you’re a fly lady. I did try to fly for a while, but got my wings clipped quickly. But she did help me some to organise my housework.